If the last few months of outlandish claims, playground hair pulling and insult hurling have proved anything, it’s that campaigning for US presidency is quite literally child’s play.
The Presidential Election Campaign has never been a stranger to clangers, calamity and controversy, but it seems more than ever before it has found itself home to some of the most absurd.
And Donald Trump has so much more to answer for than just a questionable haircut.
With a cast of characters like Trump, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders to focus on, it was only a matter of time before the toy industry weighed in to bring some much-needed sensibility to the ongoing squabbles.
We have rounded up our top ten toys to embrace the 2016 US Presidential race:
1. Donald Trumps Card Game
Hairstyle, smugness, ego, arrogance and lack of tact; all are your greatest assets when you’re fighting tooth and nail in the game that finally gives you the chance to Trump Trump.
A twisted take on the popular Top Trumps card game, Donald Trumps is all about ‘the art of the deal’ and is a sure fire way to help the Republican candidate and all round egotist in his mission to ‘make America fun again.’
Created by the UK’s The Fantastic Factory, the game has so far secured £119 of its £10,000 Kickstarter goal –let’s hope that with the promise of a special Mexican edition on its way, we will see the money flooding in soon.
2. Hillary Clinton Action Figure
This Ready-For-Action-Figure may only come in at around six inches, but it stands for a whole lot more, not least the prospect of America getting its first female president.
Created by US design firm FCTRY, the Hillary Clinton action figure arrives with her ‘picture perfect smile, stands on any flat surface and can be posed for any occasion’.
If you believe you could benefit from having a Clinton in your pocket, the Hillary action figure could be yours for just $19.99. And in a show of solidarity with the Democratic candidate, FCTRY will donate $1 for every unit sold to Clinton’s Presidential Campaign.
3. Bernie Sanders Action Figure
From the team behind the Hillary Clinton figure comes the only old man action figure you are going to need this season, in the form of truth-spouting Republican Bernie Sanders.
“Let’s turn Bernie Sanders into an action figure and create a fun new way to get real people and small businesses engaged in politics,” declared FCTRY only one week ago.
The public listened. They obeyed. And have so far rallied to help this ‘Call-To-Action-Figure’ Kickstarter project smash its goal of $15,000 by nearly $90k and counting. The project also works by the same principle as the Hillary Clinton figure initiative, donating $1 for each unit sold to the respective candidate’s campaign.
“We’re hoping our $1 per toy model can serve as an innovative, accessible model for grass-roots campaign finance reform,” said FCTRY.
“By donating a fixed portion of each sale to a political campaign, we can democratize campaign finance and make participation much more accessible to the average person.”
4. Presidential Candidates Bobble Heads
As if selecting your favourite real life candidate wasn’t difficult enough, for the past month a Kickstarter project has been challenging you to decide who you would like to see immortalized in Bobble Head fame, too.
If you want to see Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio nodding away inanely on anything but your television, head over to the Presidential Candidates Bobble Heads’ Kickstarter page where you can select one (or all) to repeat the action on your dashboard.
The Kickstarter project was successfully funded earlier this week, having hit its $10,000 crowdfunding goal. Check it out here.
5. The Dognald
Not strictly a children’s toy, and if you’re of the belief that Donald Trump has the grace of anything other than a dog’s dinner, this one might not be for you either.
From the jowls of one slobbering mutt to another, if faith in the US people needed restoring, then let the Dognald be it, as it places the Republican party’s front running candidate firmly where he belongs.
Resilient and chew ready with ‘almost indestructible hair’, The Dognald is billed as ‘one doggedly determined Republican.’
“And you’ll never hear this plush guy squeak,” says Bark Shop, creators of The Dognald. “Squeaking is for wimps. When chewed, The Dognald grunts. Like a winner.”
6. Swing State
Swing State is a fully funded Kickstarter tabletop title that promises to deliver players the most ‘authentic experience of running for president you’ll ever find in a game.’
To be fair, we can’t imagine there’s too much competition.
Claiming to be inspired by Risk, Monopoly and Settlers of Catan, the game is centered upon the 12 swing states of America, and places you at the heart of the campaign to win them over, with historical figureheads of US Presidency making unannounced appearances throughout.
Unlike Risk, Monopoly or Settlers of Catan however, Swing State appears to display all the charisma of Trump’s toupee. Thankfully, the game will not be shipped internationally meaning the rest of the world literally doesn’t have to give this game a second thought.
7. Donna T Rumpshaker Fancy Dress
Once again, probably not one for the kids, the Donna T Rumpshaker fancy dress kit from Yandy allows any Halloween fan to shake that muscle that Donald Trump is often found talking out of.
The dress up kit includes a sleeveless shirt with an attached collar, an attached red tie, a royal blue faux blazer and royal blue ‘booty shorts.’
The hat and wig are sold separately. Well, no one made money by simply giving things away, did they Donald? Get in quick and you could nab yours for only 70 per cent of the usual price…
8. The Talking Donald Trump Doll
Custom action figure manufacturer Herobuilders believes there’s only one way to ‘Make America Great’ and it involves purchasing yourself a Talking Donald Trump Doll complete with a tuxedo and a removable toupee.
“I’m REALLY rich”, “Rosie O’Donnell’s disgusting, both inside and out” and “I am Batman” are just some of the wholesome phrases you will be able to hear Trump spout over and again without even having to engage your brain or his. And for only $59.95.
Of course if – like any of the US’ thinking population – you prefer your Trump muted, a Non Talking Donald Trump Doll is available for $10 less.
9. TRUMP: The Game
Of course, Donald Trump’s love affair with himself is no recent occurrence, as this game from way back in 1988 goes to prove.
Created by Milton Bradley, Trump: The Game was a Monopoly-like board game in which players must buy and sell real estate an try to ‘trump’ one another in business deals.
The game didn’t sell well, in fact nowhere near the two million units the magnate projected at launch, but that didn’t stop him. 15 years later Trump revived the game after his success with The Apprentice, this time adding the catchphrase ‘You’re fired!”
He also simplified the rules and added a number of business tips – presumably there was no mention of flogging a dead horse among them. One plus point of the game though, it did come with this incredible promo video:
It’s not current and it’s not completely relevant – so in a way, Clintonopoly shares a lot of commonalities with Donald Trump himself.
This game – Clintonopoly: The Great American Sell-Off – from 1995 was a light-hearted satire of the Clinton era and a take on classic Monopoly in which players collect Hush Money, get sent to Senator Fulbright’s office instead of jail and pay Capital Gains Tax instead of Luxury tax.
Properties include major monuments and governmental properties such as the UN, Whitewater, Air Force One and the Washington Monument.
Any plans to include a Monica Lewinsky token were kept firmly off the table.