The man from the ministry

As I approached the gentleman he commented straight out in an aggressive manner that I import a lot of Chinese toys. Unlike him I remembered my manners and said ‘good afternoon’ and asked how I could help. He said he was chasing up my ROHS form.

He asked how much we sold that was imported Chinese toys. I don’t know the exact figure but obviously it is a good percentage. This wasn’t the answer he wanted. He decide to be more specific, pointed to a large display of blue boxes and said “how much of this is Chinese?” I explained that it would be a tiny proportion as most of the Playmobil range is made in the EU (could be all –sorry GB). He used the same tactic on the display of MB games. I explained again that a good slug is made in the Republic of Ireland, and at this point I was really hoping he would go to the Lego display.

He told me me if I didn’t return my form within 28 days we would be subject to a large fine. I invited him to my office to discuss the matter and after picking up the Leaning Tower off the floor we sat down.

He ran on for five minutes, all in the same aggressive loud manner he had in the shop. As he paused for breath I managed to quickly tell him that we didn’t directly import ourselves. He asked how I got all the “Chinese stuff” to which I then explained how a toy supplier/manufacture and FOB supply chain worked.

He asked why hadn’t I returned the form. I have a separate leaning tower for the “government crap pile” so I dug it out and said it was only worded for someone who imported in and nowhere is there an option to say you don’t. He promptly told me I had to fill it in anyway. So I started filling it out in front of him writing N/A in the boxes that I had left blank, this didn’t please him. Completed, I handed it to him for him to tell me it had to be done online. I could fill this whole page about that. Let’s just say he was sent a hard copy.

He had driven 120 miles to see me (only me!) and the next day he had to go 240 miles to see one person before heading home. It was 1pm so I was a little surprised when asked if I could recommend a good hotel in the area. I would have at least got some of the journey out of the way. I asked how much he was allowed to spend to which he replied “well technically you (taxpayer) are paying, so you recommend somewhere.”

I knew of a few local B&B’s that have weekly visits from the Dept of Health and almost sent him there, but told him about the Travelodge up the road. Special offer £39 a night. McDonalds right next door. Did you know that some McDonalds stay open till three in the morning for the teenagers cruising in their noisy cars? So does he now.