Tomato ketchup, mayonnaise, roastings, late nights on the WKD at Zeroes in Hertford. All of these have been banned, as the ToyNews Five-a-side team begins its rigorous training regime which will almost certainly culminate in it lifting the ToyNews Fives Trophy. Unless of course you think can field five finer free-scoring athletes?
 
I mean, it’s unlikely isn’t it? But you could give it a go. At the very least you’ll help fill the coffers of the Toy Trust. Which is a good thing.
 
So, take a long hard look around your office and if you think you’ve got the cojones to take on the five world-class footballers that ToyNews will be fielding go to www.topcorner.co.uk/toynewsfives and sign up. It’s easy.